A Mustache Bash!

Hi sweet boy,
On Saturday, Lauren and Nana threw you a beautiful baby shower! Not many mommies get to share baby pictures and stories of their little one at a shower, it was a lot of fun! The theme was a "Mustache Bash" and it was absolutely precious, Lauren worked so hard on all the decorations! We are so thankful for all of the people that came to shower us with gifts! Everyone has been so supportive the last two weeks, it meant even more to celebrate your arrival with everyone in person. Thank you to everyone that came, we love you all!

Everyone signed a copy of "Mustache Baby" by Bridget Heos

Lauren's diaper cake creation!

 Aunt Lauren!

 Momma and Daddy

 I can't wait for you to fit in those clothes!

Dewey's cupcakes

 Aunt Lindsay, Mimi, and Great Mawmaw Shirley

 Jenn, Nicole, Katy, and Beth

 Thank you, Elizabeth for taking pictures!!

I also have a quick update on how you are progressing! You are doing such a great job, sweet boy! You are still a little tachypneic, but the doctors don't seem to be too bothered. I think Momma and Daddy are WAY more concerned than any of the doctors or nurses, but I guess its our job to worry because we love you so much. There are no other signs that would suggest your lungs aren't functioning the way they should, so thats good news! The last couple of days we have really been able to tell that you aren't breathing has fast as you were a week ago, which is also great to see! Your respiratory rate is the best during kangaroo time, which really puts Momma at ease, it tells me that you are nice and comfy. I LOVE our kangaroo time every day! Now that you aren't breathing as fast as you were, and since it seems to actually improve when I hold you, the nurses have been letting me hold you for an up to an hour and forty-five minutes! 

You are still doing an awesome job at eating! As of today at lunch, you were up to 14 CCs of Momma's breast milk. You are doing such a great job at digesting, that they are going to up your food by 1 CC every 6 hours instead of every 12 hours! You will be up to 24 CCs before we know it! Yesterday, you had three poops, all during Nurse Candy's shift :) In fact, Momma and Daddy were there for the last one, funny story actually... I had just taken your temperature and changed your diaper, when all of a sudden, you scrunched up your face and you got really red! You arched your back, and then I heard a special sound that meant only one thing.... I then asked Daddy if he wanted to change your special diaper, and for some reason he said "You got it." He WILL change a dirty diaper one of these days! Just as I was finishing changing your stinky diaper, you decided it would be funny to pee as I was putting on your fresh diaper! So yes, you went through three diapers in less than five minutes! Lets hope thats a record for the books and we don't have to do that again! Even with all that pooping you are still gaining weight! WOOHOO! Today you weighed 3 lbs 1oz! We are so proud of you, sweet boy! Today you also laid on your back for a while with your eyes open, interacting with Momma and Daddy. You already have quite the personality! We were even able to make a video to send to Nana for her birthday! She loved it! We love you, son! Keep up the good work so you can come home soon! 

Your birthday video for Nana!

Strike a Pose!

Hi, buddy!
Last night photographers came from Capturing Hopes to take your photograph with Momma and Daddy! It's a wonderful organization of volunteer photographers that provide free professional photographs of NICU babies and their families! It was a wonderful experience and we can't wait for them to come back in a couple weeks. It means so much to us to have these beautiful photographs of you! You will soon learn that your Momma LOVES photographs, there are so many of Momma, Daddy, and Molly around the house... your daddy makes fun of me! So, its a good thing we had you, because I'm due for some new pictures up on the wall! We had so much fun holding you while Tara took your picture. You showed off smile, after smile, after smile! You were flirting with Tara and Jennifer like CRAZY, it was really cute! Last night they put a "sneak peek" up on Facebook and my heart skipped a beat! You are one handsome baby boy! I can't wait to see the rest of the photos, and don't worry family and friends, I will post them as soon as I get them :)

 Momma's attempt... 

Makes my heart melt!

Lisa, your nurse last night, wanted to try a new sleeping position with you because you are constantly putting yourself in the funkiest of positions! You loved hugging your "roll" last night! I found this so funny because for the last month that I was pregnant, I could only sleep if I had my body pillow like this :)

You had another great day today, we had kangaroo time and you snoozed for over an hour on my chest! You didn't move a muscle! I'm starting to feel like you recognize Momma and Daddy when we talk to you and hold you. That was something that has really been worrying us because we aren't with you all day long. Now, when we talk to you, you open your eyes and try to find us. We know you can't see us very well yet, but we love that you are interacting with us already! We love you so much and we are so proud of your strength! SO many people are praying for you, and we appreciate it so much! Thats the only way you are going to get big and strong enough to come home soon :) 

Love you, sweet boy!

Your First Week

Well, Sweet Boy, you can't say that your birth story wasn't uneventful! You were born at 4:26 pm on Wednesday, January 8, 2014. You born 10 weeks and 2 days earlier than your expected arrival. Needless to say it was a little scary to all of the people that love you! You weighed 2 lbs 15 oz and you were 17 inches long. Even though your arrival was a bit of a surprise, you have made us the happiest people in the world, it was love at first sight! 

 Your first picture!

 Daddy cutting your cord.

 First picture of your face

 Meeting Momma 

 Kisses

 In NICU

 I forgot they wheeled me down to see you after recovery, but I'm sure I was really excited to see you!

 Holding Daddy's hand

BIG feet!

Right after you were born they took you off to the NICU and Momma was taken to recovery. Momma was sick, thats why you had to join the world so early, so after you were born I didn't get to see you for a whole day because I couldn't get out of bed. It was the longest 30 hours of my life, I was so excited to see you! Daddy went down and visited you and took pictures and video to show Momma, Nana, Papa, Mimi, and Grandfather. You were born during flu season, so the only people allowed in the NICU are mommies and daddies. Your Grandparents, Uncles, Aunts, and friends are not very happy about not getting to meet you yet! All the more reason for you to hurry up and grow so you can come home and meet all the people that love you so much! 
All of your nurses in the NICU comment about your long arms and legs and your big feet and hands! You are pretty skinny, but we are trying to fatten you up! You have a head full of dark hair and look JUST like your daddy. You are strong like daddy too, you are constantly pushing yourself off your bed and rearranging yourself in some pretty funky positions. We have been really trying to get your lungs up and running, and your doing a great job! The day after you were born the doctors had to put you on a ventilator so you wouldn't have to work so hard to breath. You improved so much that they soon took you off of that and had you on a CPAP, which just pushed air into your lungs. By Sunday, they had you on the nasal cannula and now you are pretty much breathing all on your own. Right now, you are breathing a little too fast. The doctors say you have some fluid on your lungs, so they are giving you medicine to flush it all out. We are praying very hard that the the medicine works so you don't have to work so hard to breath and instead you can work on growing bigger and stronger. 

 On your ventilator

 Off the ventilator and going to the CPAP, loved getting to see your little face!

 Kangarooing 

 Look at Jackson's muscles, similar to anyone we know?? 

Under his Bilirubin light, rockin' his sweet shades

Right now you are eating Momma's breast milk through a feeding tube and doing a great job! When Momma was sick right before you were born the doctors had to give me magnesium to try and keep me healthy enough to deliver you. The magnesium can do funny things to your tummy and unfortunately, you had that in your system too. So after you were born the doctors were very slow in giving you milk. They stared you on 1CC every three hours. As of today you are eating 7 CCs and they are increasing it every few feedings by 1 CC. Soon you will be up to 24 CCs every three hours, and then you will really start growing! I can't wait to see you grow big and strong! 
This week Momma and Daddy have spent a lot of time at your bed. Momma can't drive yet because of her c-section, so Papa is picking me up in the morning and bringing me to the hospital to see you. Daddy had to go back to work this week, but his boss is kind enough to allow him to come to the hospital for a couple hours around lunch time to visit with you. This is when the nurses let us change your diaper and take your temperature and hold your little hands and feet. Once a day for about an hour we get to have "Kangaroo time." Its Momma's favorite part of the day because they place you on my chest and we snuggle and nap together. Its so hard not being able to hold you and kiss on you when I want to, so I treasure that hour each day. Daddy has gotten to do it with you too, but his chest is not as squishy as Momma's, so you didn't like it as much yet! I guess we found out the one negative thing about daddy's strong muscles, they aren't as comfy to nap on :) 

 Kangaroo time

Changing your diaper *disclaimer* its gross!!

After we snuggle, Daddy takes me home so I can rest a little, I'll need to do that for about another week. All of your friends and family have been taking really good care of us. They have been bringing us dinner and sending us cards and gifts for you. Your Nana, Papa, Aunt Lindsay, Uncle Brian, and Aunt Lauren cleaned our house before we came home from the hospital. I would just like to say that it wasn't dirty to begin with! Lauren has organized a calendar where people have signed up to bring us food. Uncle Tim and Aunt Liz, as well as Will and Elizabeth have made us yummy dinners so far this week. Your cousin, Trey, has drawn pictures for you that are hanging up in your nursery! While Momma was still in the hospital, our friends Joe, Joseph, Allie, and Titus came to visit us, we prayed for your health and it meant so much to Daddy and I. Momma's friends, Lizzie, Nicole, Jenn and Walker drove from Raleigh and Tiz drove from Charlotte to visit. They brought you all kinds cute stuff, I can already tell that they are going to spoil you like crazy. Borgia and Ben visited us and brought flowers and gifts. The Folgers also stopped by to see us, you have 25 high school volleyball players that are already in love with you and can't wait to spoil you! Mrs. Troxell was Momma and Daddy's World History teacher the year we started dating and she was Momma's mentor her first year teaching. She had twin daughters that were premies, and came to visit us the day after you were born. Its been comforting to talk to others that have been through similar experiences. We are so blessed to be surrounded by amazing family and friends that are supporting us during this really hard time. When we planned on having you this was not the way we thought it would go. We are trying to do the best we can, but its hard being at home without you here. Every night we go back to the hospital to spend just a little more time with you. All of your nurses, PAs, respiratory therapists, and doctors are wonderful. We are so lucky that we live close to the best NICU around. They all take great care of you and great care of Momma and Daddy when we need it! 

 Pretty flowers from the Walkers, Lowder, Inc. (Daddy's work), and Set Point Volleyball Club (not pictured)

 Your favorite position, just like Momma

 So handsome!

 Big foot :)

 Sleeping HARD

You are all arms and legs!

We love you so much, sweet boy! Your first week of life has been a roller coster, but we are so happy that you are here and that we get to spend more time with you than originally planned. I am going to spend time writing to you to keep our family and friends updated on how you are doing. We all love you so much and pray that you continue to fight and grow into a strong healthy boy so that you can come home to us soon. 

 I keep finding you in the weirdest positions :)

 Date time with Momma's boy

 Sweet sleeper

 Another funny sleeping position

 Trying to find our thumb, are we?

 Best part of my day

Meet Jackson Crews!

Whirlwind of a Week

Words cannot even describe how much our lives have changed in one week. Last Monday morning (1/5) I was about to go back to work after winter break. I wasn't feeling well Sunday night, I thought I had indigestion or something. I've never had it before, so I didn't really know what it felt like. I got up Monday morning to go to school and got sick twice, so I decided to take the day off. You have to realize, I've probably had the easiest pregnancy ever, only some fatigue during the first trimester. I was at home and feeling a little better, but only as long as I was laying down. I decide to see if my doctor would see me that afternoon for my 29 week check up instead of having to take time off of work later in the week. I went in at 3pm, and the first thing I noticed that was odd was that I had gained 10lbs since my last appointment, which was just two weeks before. I had gained about 10 lbs total in 6 months. They took my blood pressure three different times and they were all somewhere between 155/80 to 170/90. Thats when I was told that I would immediatly be going to the hospital.
Once I was at Forsyth, they admitted me and took me back to a labor and delivery room, this is when Hunter and I started to freak out a bit. They told me I needed to be evaluated for preeclampsia and that I would at least be staying the night. My blood pressure continued to rise, imagine that? Doctors came in and explained the process and started talking about the possibility of delivery, and more freaking out by Hunter and myself occurred.  The same doctor was giving us all of the updates, and every time he came into the room he said "We gotta talk." Every time, the news got worse and worse and I thought Hunter was going to punch him in the face by midnight. Hunter called him Dr. Death, because each time he spoke to us, he was giving us bad news about how close I was to death. Finally, at around 2 am, they had not only established that I had preeclampsia, but that it was severe and I had something called HELLP syndrome. Basically, my body was shutting down and the only way to "cure" it was to deliver our son 10 weeks early. Scariest. Moment. Ever. They pumped me with steriods to help his lungs mature and they put me on magnesium sulfate to prevent me from having seizures or a stroke because of the high blood pressure. They drew my blood every 6 hours for 48 hours to monitor my liver and kidneys, as well as my extremely low platelet count. Another concern was that if my platelet count continued to drop, my blood wouldn't clot, which creates a problem when you want an epidural. Its also a concern when you think about blood loss during a vaginal birth and it especially presented a problem if I had to have an emergency c-section.

The doctors made it clear that a vaginal delivery was the best option and we should pursue that first. When you have preeclampsia, there is a fine line you have to dance around, keeping me alive but also attempting to keep Jackson in me as long as possible to allow the steroids to help out his little lungs. 

So they induced me by (sorry, about to get real up close and personal) placing a medicine up into my cervix in an attempt to get it to "ripen" (their term, not mine) or basically soften. Every 6 hours for 30 hours they stuck their fist up my who-ha, and for some reason whenever it was time for that stupid procedure, the only doctor on call was the little girl with short fingers.... it made it WAY more painful.
During the 30 hours of waiting on dialation, we decided to go ahead and do the epidural procedure before my platelets dropped any lower. They just placed the catheter, they weren't going to numb me up just yet. It was painful, but I expected that, and was just glad when it was over. Then I decided to role over on it while sleeping and pulled off the piece that connects the catheter to where the medicine is administered. Yeah, I broke my epidural. So they had to do the whole procedure over again. If that wasn't bad enough, the poor anisthesiaologist could not figure out my crooked spine. He attempted to place the needle, not once, not twice, but three times before stopping and calling for back up. Yes, that means three different times he took a 6" needle and stabbed it into my back until he hit bone before pulling it out and trying again. When the second doctor came in, he got it on the first try...
After the 30 hours of cervix ripening, I had dialated only 1cm, even though I think they were being nice, it was actually just a "finger tip." Thanks for that. They then decide to place 2 balloons in my uterus and cervix in order help the ripening process and they also started me on pitocin to induce labor. This was when I asked to take advantage of that wonderful epidural that I worked so hard for. I could feel the effects of the epidural at first, but early on Wednesday morning, I was feeling my contractions, the catheter, and I could feel the balloons in my cervix and uterus... yes, I was pumping that button like crazy for more meds, but to no relief. Come to find out, that special piece that I had pulled out after the first epidural, well the second one they put on was BROKEN and LEAKING the medicine all down my back instead of it going in me. I think its fair to say that by this point I've had the worst experience possible with epidurals. After 12 hours of that inflatable fun and labor pains with a broken epidural, they checked my cervix again, and I was only 3 cm dialated. 4 cm was the magic number we were looking for. It was safe to say that while my liver, kidneys, blood, etc. did not want me to be pregnant anymore, my cervix had every intention of keeping me pregnant. At around 3:30pm on Wednesday, we decided to proceed with a c-section. Within an hour we got to meet our sweet son.