Rub a dub dub!

Hi buddy, 

Great news, you finally pooped last night... Twice! You also took another full bottle! This morning you had your contrast enema and all of your plumbing is working just fine, no obstructions or narrowing. It now looks like its just going to be a waiting game for you to regulate your poops! Before your enema, you weighed in at 4 lbs 3.7 oz.... Not sure about how much you lost after the blowout diaper of all blowouts! You ruined your outfit and all of your bedding, it was all over you! Silver lining? I got to give you a nice warm bath and you LOVED it! It snowed again today, but didnt stick. the BIG snow is expected to come Wednesday, 6-10"! Hopefully, Daddy and I will be able to make it to see you, afterall, this town seems to shut down over just a couple inches! We love you sweet boy!

Five nurses swooned over how cute you were during bath time, you are a NICU 1 celeb

You are one sweet and handsome boy! 

Notice you are missing your feeding tube, you pulled it out... Again! 

Baby Steps

Sweet boy,

You are one month old and Momma is starting to get very anxious to get you home! I know you need more time to get bigger and healthier, but I want you all to myself!!!! Its staring to get harder and harder to watch all the other babies get to go home. I keep having to remind myself, well actually your Daddy is the one reminding me that they call it "baby steps" for a reason...

So now for your update: You are still having issues with your irregularity. Today is Sunday and you have not pooped since Thursday night! Your belly is not distended and you aren't having any residuals. I don't get it... where is all that milk going?! You weighed just over 4 lbs today, so you aren't gaining THAT much weight. The doctors, again, aren't too worried about it, but you are getting a contrast enema tomorrow morning to see if there is anything wrong. If you still haven't pooped by then, well I feel REALLY sorry for the doctor that has to do the procedure! Hopefully, there will be nothing wrong and you might just be one of those babies that doesn't poop a lot... I hope that is the case, because your poop issues are keeping me up at night!

You are eating 27 ml of milk every three hours, and today you took TWO FULL bottles! Most of the time you have been taking 10-20 mls, sometimes you are just to sleepy to take anything at all. Whatever milk you don't take from a bottle, they will give it to you through your feeding tube. It is very important for you to learn to take all of your feeds from a bottle, you have to do that before you can come home! Preemies really struggle with learning how to suck, swallow, and breath. You have to remember that you are technically not supposed to be doing any of these things we demand of you. So, when you do eat from the bottle sometimes you will forget to breath for a few seconds or it will just be too exhausting for your little body and you will fall asleep!

You might also get out of your "hot box" or your incubator soon! I call it a hot box because when you do finally poop, or when you have gas, you STINK UP that incubator! I will open one of the arm holes, and holy moly, you stink kiddo! I'm blaming it on the whey protein they have added to your milk for the extra calories. Your Daddy drinks whey protein, so I am well aware of the... ehem... gassy side effects. They have had your incubator set on the lowest temperature (80 degrees F) for almost two weeks and you have been maintaining your body temperature within the appropriate levels, anywhere from 98 to 98.9 degrees F. One night last week they tried you in an open crib, but you weren't quite ready for that yet. You dropped your temperature below 98, so they put you back. It takes a lot of work for preemies to maintain their body temp, and we want you to use that energy to grow instead of working to keep warm. Lately, I have not seen your temp below 98.6, so maybe we will try you in an open crib again this week! 

You have come SO far in your first month, and it seems like there are not that many more things that you have to accomplish before you can come home... but unfortunately, they are some major tasks. The doctors told us when you were born that you would be in the NICU until your due date, March 22. I'm hoping SO MUCH that you get to come home before then! But maybe, your Momma just needs to slow her roll, relax and remember that we are taking baby steps... 

Bright eyes, so alert when we get to hold you!

Look SO much like your Daddy!

Bottle with Daddy!

Suck, swallow, breath....

So exhausting.

Momma's sweet boy

Feeding tube was accidentally pulled out... by your Momma :( sorry buddy!

Itty-bitty paci is as big as your face!

Practicing to sleep on your back, can't sleep on your tummy in the crib.

Exhausted after taking a bottle

So stinkin' cute, even when you are not amused... 

Watch me grow, month one!

Blessed.

This post is a little different today. Today, I'm asking for prayers. This blog has been viewed over 4,500 times since Jackson was born, which tells me there are a lot of people that love and care enough about us to take the time to read my posts And to keep us in their thoughts and prayers. So today I will use it as a platform to pray for others. 

Have you ever gone to church and felt like your pastor's sermon was being directed right at you?! All the time right? Well last Sunday, our pastor at CUMC gave a sermon about what it means to be blessed. I have ALWAYS considered Hunter and I to be living a very blessed life, and I have always felt just as thankful. His sermon looked at redefining what it meant to be blessed. Those that are blessed are not always the rich and healthy, but also those that are struggling or suffering in some way. For the first few weeks after Jackson was born, I struggled with being thankful. I felt sorry for myself, for Hunter, and our families. There were lots of tears and asking "why us?" and "this isn't fair." I still get emotional and want to cry when I see a woman in her third trimester or a chunky full term baby that is heading home, even seeing pictures of friends' healthy babies on Facebook makes my throat get tight and my eyes tear up. I want that.  I NEVER thought I would be jealous of a woman that is nine months pregnant. My friends can even attest that month nine, and probably the third trimester in general was the thing I was least excited about while pregnant. Now, at times I feel guilty about those feelings. But days like today those feelings are gone, and instead of feeling sorry for myself or Jackson's situation, I feel thankful. Thankful for a boy strong enough to tackle his prematurity and make tremendous strides. Thankful that he is in the NICU not because there was something wrong with his development, but because of my condition. Jackson has had a neighbor for the last week that was born at full term, but has had some heart and lung troubles. I've spent mornings talking with his mom and watching nurses, practitioners, and doctors attempt to help his little body get better. If his mom was ever there when I wasn't, she would tell me about something Jackson did while I was gone. Mostly, she told stories about the cute faces or sounds he made when they would give him a bath or when changing a diaper. I would keep an eye on Baby K while she was gone, but I never felt that I could reasure her about his progress like she did for me. Poor Baby K was on a ventilator and sedated, he was pale and horrible looking fluids were sucked from his stomach and lungs. Seeing sick babies like Baby K have made Hunter and I feel so blessed to have a "healthy" baby. Jackson is healthy, he is slowly gaining weight, breathing on his own, taking some of his food from a bottle, and close to maintaining a good body temperature on his own. God willing, it will all continue. He is doing way more than he is supposed to be doing for a baby that was conceived less than 34 weeks ago. We might not have a chunky 8 lb baby who is at home with us, but we are blessed. When I got to Jackson's crib this morning, Baby K and his parents were gone. Last night he was sent to Brenner's, and that is never a good sign. We will never know what happened last night, or even about his future. We are praying for Jackson's first little friend and I'm asking for all of you that have been praying for Jackson to do the same. Pray for his mommy and daddy, that they have the strength to deal with what ever it is that they are facing. Pray for all the NICU babies and their families. Pray for the wonderful nurses and physicians that take care of our babies in a way that we cannot. Pray that God continues to bless all of us and all of you. Thank you all for praying for Jackson, our prayers continue to be answered with each passing day. We have been in NICU 1 the longest of any other babies here, one whole month. Most have gotten healthy enough to go home, and we are happy for those families. One day that will be us taking home a chunky baby!! Thank you, we love you all! 

Praying for his little friend this morning.

Four Weeks Old!

Hello sweet boy!

What a great week you had! On Saturday, they took off your cannula and you have been breathing all on your own ever since! I love being able to FINALLY see your handsome little face! You are a big hit in the NICU, all of the nurses come by to see you everyday and always swoon over how CUTE you are! Today, you weigh 3 lbs 12 oz and you are getting fed 26 ml every three hours. You are still doing a great job on eating from your bottle! You are taking between 15-20 ml from your bottle three or four times a day. Last week you were only taking between 4-7 ml a couple times a day. Keep it up, kiddo!! 

Bye, bye cannula!

Bottle time

You are starting to look like a newborn instead of an itty-bitty preemie!

Love that sweet little face!

This week has been the week of Momma asking one question (over and over) "Did he poop!?" Apparently, you are not very regular... and sometimes you get all backed up and it causes everyone to get all panicky. We were very excited on Monday morning when you pooped twice without any need for glycerin (stool softener). You may be asking yourself, "Momma, why would you ever get 'very excited' about my poop?!" Its sad, I know, but my life as a NICU mom is consumed by breast milk output, residual amounts, and poopy diapers. We were excited because we want you pooping without the help of glycerin, that way it shows us that all of your plumbing is working correctly! On Monday, it was working so well that your Daddy got a chance to change HIS FIRST POOPY DIAPER... EVER! For years, I have been trying to get him to change your cousins' diapers. Yesterday, you had worked up a big one, and I asked him (like always) if he would like to change your diaper, and his response (like always) was, "you got it." Then, the nurse mentioned that you couldn't come home until a nurse watched him change a dirty diaper and checked him off. As soon as she said that, he took off his jacket and told me to move over. Don't ever challenge your Daddy, because he will make it into a competition. He was not only going change your diaper with ease, but he wanted to do it faster and better than any diaper your Momma has ever changed. He did a great job for his first diaper, but I think he needs more practice :) 

Daddy looks a little TOO excited to be changing a poopy diaper, he loves you SO much!

Last night you had a large residual and your belly was a little distended, so they gave you a glycerin to help. When I called at 10pm, the nurses described your diaper as a "blow out." We are really praying that your tummy and plumbing start working correctly soon. You looked so wonderful today when I held you and gave you your bottle. You were wide awake and so alert!  I love that you are getting stronger and more alert everyday, that means we are getting closer and closer to getting you home sweet boy! We love you so much!

You had a case of the hiccups today, so cute!

And now, the many faces of Jackson Wood Crews... 

"I'm not tired Momma, I swear!"

Going... 

Going...

Gone. 

Your onesie says "I'm a catch" we agree <3

Three Weeks... and a few days...

Hi sweet boy,
What a crazy week it has been! Your tummy is still causing Momma a bit of stress. You were doing great with the lower volume earlier in the week after Saturday's events, but when you got back up to full feeds again yesterday you had a large residual and a distended belly again. This time the doctors had a different plan that just involved giving you some glycerin (stool softener) and letting you work through your feeding and hope for the best. They kept you at a full feed and you did great throughout the night, you had small residuals and a big poop at 6pm.  You spit up a few times when we were with you last night, and it looks like you have some reflux issues. Even this morning you had small residuals, but you did spit up a few more times. At rounds, everyone decided to back off on the volume of your feed from 30 ml (1oz) to 25 ml and see if it improves. I do not like watching you struggle with the reflux! You look miserable as you fight to keep all of that milk down in your belly! Momma didn't hold you today because I wanted your tummy to rest. If you did spit up, I wanted to know that it was because of your tummy, not because I was moving you all around. That was a tough decision on my part, I wanted to be selfish and hold you because I love it so much, but I knew it was better for you to rest. I just got off the phone with your nurse and she said that you did great this afternoon! You had a "huge" poop, and a .8 ml residual at your 3pm feeding. Hopefully, you will get used to the high volume of food soon and start to get a little more regular on your own. We are asking for lots of prayers that your tummy gets better and the reflux starts to go away! The doctors and nurses keep stressing to Momma and Daddy that this is all perfectly normal for a preemie, but I still want you to feel better SOON!
On an AWESOME note, you weigh 3 lbs 8 oz, and your lungs are doing great! You are still on 21% oxygen (room air) and they are weening you off of your cannula, today it was at .400 flow! Last week you were at 1.5 liters! You have also been wearing clothes this week, your incubator temp has been turned down, and you have been maintaining a good body temperature on your own. These are all great signs and mean that you are that much closer to coming home. We love you sweet boy! Below is a video and some pictures of you this past week!

You always seem to be getting the hiccups!

Momma loves her boys :)

I think you look like Daddy and Momma here!

Our house in the snow

Daddy took me to the hospital to see you that morning, he can't wait to drive you in his Jeep!

Big yawn in your monkey outfit that Linda  Hedrick bought you!

Seriously?

Enough is enough with these pictures!

Sweet sleeper!

Let it SNOW!!

Guess what, kiddo! It snowed today for the first time in years! There has been nothing but chaos in Winston-Salem today. Schools dismissed early, people raced to the store to stock up on milk and bread, and all for less than an inch of snow :) It has been CRAZY cold around here since the week you were born, Al Roker calls it a "polar vortex." I call it "my worst nightmare." Momma HATES cold weather, and I'm not found of the early morning treks in 10 degree weather through the hospital parking garage. I would ONLY do that for you, Jackson Crews, and don't ever forget it! While everyone else was running around town in a frenzy, we spent the afternoon snuggling and napping. I could not imagine a more perfect way to spend a snowy afternoon. Here are some pics of you and your first snow. Sorry you don't get to go out and enjoy it, hopefully, we will see it again before you go off to kindergarten!

Holding you as the pretty snow fell... Yes, we know your arms are too long for preemie clothes!

View of the snow from your window. 

Can't wait to get rid of that IV! 

You pulled your hat over your eyes, not really sure how you did this. 

Capturing Hopes Photos

Hi sweet boy,
We got your photos from Capturing Hopes! Tara Joyce took some beautiful pictures of you when you were 8 days old. You have already grown SO much since these pictures were taken, today you weighed 3 lbs 7 oz! I'm hoping that another volunteer photographer will come and take some more pictures sometime this week or next. They like to use the photos to help document your progress while you are in the NICU. I especially love the pictures of you and your daddy, you two are very handsome :)